Lifestyle

A LETTER OF HOPE TO TOMORROW

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Dear tomorrow, I will cling on to hope. They say tomorrow is too far, but I will patiently wait for the day you come. I tell mother and father that when tomorrow comes, our lives would change. Father will leave the dilapidated oil factory, Mother will leave the market, and I will finally be in school. But every time I remind them that you will come, Father smacks my head and says, “Oghenetega wake up from your dreams and face reality. The tomorrow you should look forward to is when a rich man comes and marries you off.” I get disappointed, but every day that passes by, is a silent promise that tomorrow will soon be here. Mother will leave the Market Women Association. Those rowdy, untidy women that sit all day and complain of the sad wages their “lazy” husbands bring home every day. Men that have been victims of resource exploitation and poverty. I watch with silent disdain and wait for the day Mother will leave those uneducated women and be part of the exposed and educated women we watch on our box television. Father also prayed I will stop rejecting the men who came to ask for my hand in marriage. I was beautiful, and graceful in manner, a contrast to the rugged nature of the Delta women in my community. I was stubborn, a common trait of delta women. Although, I was different. I desired a change in environment and wished to marry one of the European men that waltzed with their wives, took them to fancy dinners, and wore elaborately designed dresses. The life I wanted, I watched daily on our box television, when the cable channel showed European shows. I had memorized the shows and the days they aired. Unfailingly, Monday was for politics, Tuesday was for Sports, Wednesday was for Fashion, which was also my favorite day of the week. Thursday for music and entertainment, Friday was for children shows, where children were taught the letters of the alphabets, numbers and simple sentences. I had learnt new words and knew how to construct simple sentences every Friday. The well-structured grammar that rolls off their tongue with ease, when they say big words like, “Adulterously”. I had heard that word when one of the chairladies was addressing a young girl on the Television. “You ought to behave adulterously in the 21st century.” She had said. I was fascinated and wondered when I would become part of the educated elites who spoke polished English seamlessly. All I heard in this Delta community, was the familiar pidgin English spoken with ease, and of course, the undiluted Urhobo language. Often times, I attempted to speak polished English and said some new vocabulary I had heard from the Television. One day when my father had brought up the discussion of my prospective suitors, I said, “Father, I will not be subject to this unfair treatment if you do not give me a listening ear.” I was proud of myself but was put off when my father laughed heartily in my face. “Small madam, you too don dey speak big big English like Queen Eli abi? Dey there, na Urhobo man you go still marry.” He said, as he walked away. I was not discouraged. I kept my hope high for I knew I was waiting for tomorrow. Today was Wednesday, and I was eager to see the latest fashion the European women would wear. I wondered when I would wear those elegant dresses and feel like a princess. Fashion was declining rapidly as people focused on what to put in their bellies, rather than what to wear on their bodies. I thought of both, and I knew that made me different. Maybe the day after or next week, I would live the life I had only hope for. I was not sure, but I knew that, one day tomorrow would come, even if it felt too far. Yours sincerely, Tega. Check out more articles like this! Feminism and Balance- Should We All Be Feminists?  

A few choice words that don’t lack

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a few choice words

The following article contains a group of words containing a coherent thought on matters pertaining to Nigerian behaviour. I remember that night like it was last night. Truthfully, it was. Pitch black in all its glory. Not a sound could be heard for hours, and I was in a dreamless state, unwilling to rejoin the waking world and its responsibilities. Out of nowhere, it jolted me. I didn’t know the time, it could’ve been 2am, 3am or midnight. I’m a directionless being even wide awake.  The sound began as a piercing scream. I recognized its origin instantly, it stemmed from the house right next to ours. Normally, these kinds of sounds aren’t odd or new, it has dawned on us neighbours that the mother in the house’s mode of discipline is the strong use of hand or whip. And although I am uncomfortable with it generally, I pass it off as just another morning with the wailings of Uju. But this time was different. It pierced, it stirred, it troubled me. It was a male voice, and I heard nothing from the doer of this action, but the recipient was loud and terrifying. It began with shouts and yells, obviously a reaction from the faint whip sounds. Actually, I didn’t know what was causing the shouts. It was dark and silent and I couldn’t make out the source of the wails, maybe that’s what troubled me the most. That the sound seemed origin-less. Nonetheless, the shouts pierced through me. I felt my empathy rise as the sounds got louder. I had never been a fan of the African mode of discipline, especially when it happens in the middle of the night. It made a plausible argument for insanity and absurdity, but I assure you, no one is ready for that conversation. Back to the sounds of hades’ victim, the shouts accelerated and travelled. I recall a small passageway which served as a porch for the house. It occurred to me that the wailer was being chased down, and eventually cornered. His shouts turned to screams, which was when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, my brother wake up and turn his head toward the sound. Soon after he went back to sleep. He was only 14 and could sleep through a blizzard maybe. I realized that it bothered me how there was a single stirring from anyone. Noise polluting the silent night and my fellow Nigerians didn’t move an inch. The culture of abuse disguised as discipline ran deep and has been so a long time.  After 5 minutes or so, the sound died down. I tried to picture the poor soul. He was curled up at the edge of the passageway, tending to the pain and his wounds. Soft pants were all I heard afterwards, but I couldn’t go back to sleep. Not yet. I was annoyed. Annoyed that a human being was beaten up like a thief and no one inquired. Because it didn’t affect them, or he deserved it. The cycle of abuse was endless. I hated myself for not being able to do anything either. Now I’m typing this at 7am in the morning. There’s gospel music playing out of the scene of the crime. I hear the mother, most likely the culprit, singing along, her conscience probably clean and proud of herself.  I’ve heard no child sounds yet, which is unusual, but I wouldn’t blame them for being silent after the events of the night before. The culture of instilling fear into children at young ages and swearing they turn out well. Spoiler alert – they never do. This takes me back to a few days ago. My phone screen brightly lit against my face, navigating between my texts and twitter, sorry – X. the discourse of the day on +234 twitter centered around a celebrity wedding. The maid of honour, specifically. He was male, and incels and misogynists alike expressed their disdain for the concepts. No worry though, they were drowned out by the hardcore scum male population that threw a hissy fit over the sight of the man of honour in tears as his best friend got married. They swore that he was mourning the sex that they probably never had, and they contradicted themselves by calling his crying ‘feminine’.  Between tweets about WWE and AEW alike on my feed, the discourse trickled down into their problem with effeminate men and gay men alike. They accused the man of honour of being gay and swore they’d prefer their likely nonexistent children to mechanics and agberos, rather than the probability of them kissing someone of the same gender. They boasted of the violence they’d commit to ensure their boys remain ‘masculine’. One user mentioned being interested in breaking bottles on his son’s head when he got to 10 years to build his tear threshold, and got over 13 thousand likes. Another, a patriarchy princess, boasted of the methods her husband used to revert her effeminate son, praising the random squats and excessive gym memberships and kitchen bans her husband undertook. Saviors of mankind, or feminists, expressed their concern for the son and mentioned that the methods would only make their son a good liar, rather than a changed person. Warning her to enjoy his time with her son now, they were sure that eventually, they’d live out their days in a home for the elderly and never see their son again. As I spectate in the social media debacle, and the events of the night before, one thing is certain to me. There is an unhealthy obsession with conservative culture within Nigerians and Africans alike, a culture that irks me from within, as they cosplay as servants of God, while in reality they couldn’t be further from what the teachings of their Lord and savior spread. The religious psychosis, coupled with their ability to pick and choose what kind of religious teachings they want to align themselves with, would make … Read more

WHEN FASHION BECOMES A WEAPON FASHIONED: THE BATLLE AGAINST PURITY

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When Fashion becomes a Weapon Fashioned

Fashion is meant to be an expression of beauty and creativity, but in today’s world, it has become a weapon—fashioned not only to present people in both good ways, but also to present people in bad ways causing many to be lured into immorality. We are all in a battle; the battle of staying pure in this dark and corrupt world. Whether young or old, so far you live in this world, you must find yourself on this battlefield. Who is the enemy behind it? The devil. The Bible calls him “the god of this world,” and he has carefully designed different weapons to draw people into sin. Among these weapons are greed, lust, covetousness, and most significantly for this discussion—indecent dressing. The devil has so influenced the minds of clothing industries and individuals that many outfits are now designed to reveal what ought to be covered. In this current world, we have a higher percentage of ladies who wear bum shorts on the street, expose their stomachs, cleavages, and feel comfortable in stepping out without a bra. They do this all in the name of fashion; what is trending. Young men are not also left out. Some of them sag their trousers, wear shirts that expose their chests or shorts that even expose their thighs. The reason is the same: “It’s fashion. It’s the trend.” But imagine this: fashion itself has become a weapon, fashioned by the devil to drive people into immorality and to stir up lust in the hearts of others. So, what is fashion really? Fashion is simply a popular trend, especially in the clothing industry. But then we must ask: How did revealing clothes become a popular trend? Who started it? Where did it come from? If you cannot answer these questions, why should you join a trend whose origin you do not know? Is that not living a confused life? And if you truly knew where it came from, you would not want to participate in it. For such trends do not come from God but from the devil. By embracing them, people unknowingly give the devil influence over their lives. They either fall into immorality themselves or lead others into lust and sin. This is why we must open our eyes. Indecent dressing, disguised as fashion, is nothing but a trap. It may look attractive for a while, but the end is destructive. No matter what fashion indecent dressing is, it can never qualify a person for a standard job. This is another reason why we must open our eyes. Imagine someone posting a picture of themselves on an indecent dress and goes to apply for a standard job,some years later, where they have to check out their activities on social media. Do you think such person would receive the job? To clothing industries and designers, I make this appeal: let us build a society that upholds dignity. Let us design clothes that cover what should be covered. No amount of money made from indecent fashion can compare to the value of lives being lost to immorality. Do not become the blacksmith forging weapons for the devil by promoting indecent dressing. The devil is working tirelessly to make many fall in this battle for purity. Do not yield yourself as an instrument in his hands. Stand for righteousness. Thank you. ALSO READ Family Traditions: The Importance of Christmas Clothes              

A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE THAT TAUGHT ME FINANCIAL DISCIPLINE

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A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE THAT TAUGHT ME FINANCIAL DISCIPLINE 600x400

A painful experience I had of recent made me finally stick to the principle of spending money wisely that I learnt years back from Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Let me share how it finally cured me of financial indiscipline. It was a very painful experience. So intense. I pushed and I pushed. It felt like I wasn’t going to leave that place alive. I had exhausted all my strength, but if I dared to rest, what I was pushing would crawl right back inside. No nurse, no drip, no one at home to help induce anything. It was just me — me and this pain. To aid my delivery, I tried different postures, shifting and adjusting, just for what was disturbing me inside to come out. But nothing worked. In that moment of struggle, I wished I could rewind time. If I had known, I would have rejected everything they offered me at Yemi’s wedding party, my former classmate. I just didn’t want her to know what I was really passing through. I wanted to show her that I had also “made it” in life. Imagine paying ₦250K for Asoebi. Then renting the latest Lexus for ₦150K — just to show off. And yes, I still sprayed money at the party. I know you’re thinking that I’m rich, but I’m nothing close to it. Everything I spent to appear “big” at the wedding was borrowed. After spending all that, how could I allow any plate pass me by untouched? I ate everything. Everything. I mean… I tasted Asaro (yam porridge). Then, what’s the name of that other thing sef? Ehen! Abacha (African Salad)! I mixed them together. My stomach was saying no, but my mouth kept saying yes. I didn’t leave one thing untouched. And now, here I am. Honestly, it’s high time I stop living this fake big-girl life. Borrowing money for parties, just to “belong.” I’m not big anything. I dey use shalanga (pit latrine) for my side. Na one room I dey live. Wetin dey do me sef na how I wan take pay the money back! God abeg! it’s just very painful that I  borrowed this  money from LAPO. I told them I wanted to start a small business. But I don’t even know how the money vanished — until it remained just 50k. How I wan explain this one naw? That I spent 450K at a three-hour party? Omo… I just have to work hard to… Knock knock knock! “Aunty Bimbo! Come out now. Are you giving birth ni? You’ve been inside since. Na only you wan shit? Come out o!” Ah. It was like the thing inside heard the knock. It started coming out. I could see its head… black. It was coming, it was coming! Woof! Finally, it came out. Long, multicolored; black, yellow, some green, and red pepper flakes. So this was the demon troubling my stomach. Relieved, I washed my bumbum and quickly stepped out. “Aunty Bimbo! Come back here! You’re very wicked. Very very wicked! You no give me out of the food wey you chop o, but you leave your shit for me.” “Sorry, I forgot.” This girl does not even know what is on my head. How am I going to use 50k to start a business and pay my 500k loan in just a month? “You always forget to flush, but you never forget to refill your belle. Abeg, go flush joor!” Dear Lord, I promise not to waste my money just to please people again. So help me, Lord. Amen. ALSO READ Stress Management and Virtual Assistance: Keys to Triumphant Business Management

The Beautiful Game’s Ugly Side: When Football Betting Becomes a Trap

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The Beautiful Game’s Ugly Side When Football Betting Becomes a Trap

Football is called “the beautiful game” for a reason. The goals, the rivalries, the emotions – it’s a universal language. But there’s another language that has quietly crept in alongside it: odds, accumulators, cash-outs. Football betting has become so common that in some friend groups, if you don’t have a “ticket” for the weekend’s fixtures, you might as well be invisible. On the surface, betting looks harmless. A little thrill here, a small stake there. You put ₦500 on Arsenal to win and they actually deliver? Congratulations – you just made ₦1,200 while sitting on your couch. Feels good, right? But that’s how it starts. One win plants a seed in your mind: If I can win once, I can win again. And again. And again. The First Taste The first win is sweet. It’s like your team scoring a last-minute winner – you’re high on adrenaline, and your brain has already decided you’ve found the secret to life. You start imagining bigger stakes and bigger wins. That ₦500 win convinces you that if you’d just staked ₦5,000, you’d be on your way to millionaire status. The funny part? You completely ignore the fact that your ₦500 was a random guess that happened to land. You’ve already built castles in the air, and in your mind, the next weekend’s fixtures are your golden ticket. The Slide into Addiction Betting doesn’t start as an addiction – it starts as entertainment. But football betting has a way of sinking its claws in. You win once, lose twice, then win again. You’re not keeping track anymore; you’re just chasing that same feeling you had the first time. Soon, it’s not about enjoying football. You’re no longer watching matches for the goals or the beautiful passing – you’re watching because your “over 2.5” needs just one more goal in the 89th minute. And when it doesn’t happen, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep, and you’re one VAR decision away from throwing your TV out the window. The Money Myth Let’s be honest: one of the biggest attractions of betting is the idea of “earning money without working.” No alarms, no boss, no traffic – just vibes and predictions. You tell yourself you’re being smart, that this is strategic thinking. But in reality, you’re rolling dice with your emotions. And here’s the trap – one win isn’t enough. No matter how much you win, your brain tells you it’s just a stepping stone to something bigger. ₦10,000 today? Tomorrow you want ₦50,000. Tomorrow comes, and you lose ₦20,000 instead. Now you’re not just back where you started – you’re behind. And the only way to “recover” is… to bet again. Debt, Depression, and Isolation It doesn’t take long before the financial hits start to hurt. You borrow small amounts here and there – just “urgent 2k” – with promises to pay back when your next big win comes. But the win doesn’t come. Instead, the debts pile up. That’s when depression walks in, uninvited. You stop hanging out with friends because you don’t want to explain why you’re broke… again. You avoid calls because you don’t want to face your creditors. You start isolating yourself, not because you want to, but because you’re ashamed. Football betting, once a fun hobby, has quietly taken control of your life. The Hard Road to Quitting Quitting football betting sounds easy until you try. You tell yourself, That’s it, I’m done. And for a week or two, you actually stick to it. But then you go broke, and your mind whispers: If I can just win one ticket, I’ll be fine. You convince yourself it’s not “really” going back – it’s just “one bet to bounce back.” And just like that, you’re right back where you started, staring at live scores with your heart in your throat. The truth is, quitting betting is like breaking up with a toxic partner who knows exactly how to pull you back in. It takes more than willpower – it takes changing your environment, your mindset, and sometimes even your circle of friends. The Illusion of Control One of the most dangerous lies in football betting is the belief that you can “outsmart” the system. You start researching form tables, injury lists, head-to-head stats. You convince yourself you’ve cracked the code. But the truth is, football is unpredictable. That’s what makes it beautiful – and that’s what makes betting on it so dangerous. Even the best analysts in the world get it wrong. One red card, one penalty miss, one goalkeeper having the game of his life, and your “sure odds” go up in smoke. Finding Your Way Back Escaping the betting trap starts with honesty. Admit it’s not just a hobby anymore – it’s a problem. Limit your exposure to betting adverts, unsubscribe from tipster groups, and replace the habit with something else that excites you. Talk to people you trust. The shame only grows in silence. You might be surprised how many others have walked the same road. Some have found ways to redirect that passion for football into safer outlets – coaching, playing casually, writing about the sport, or even fantasy football leagues where money isn’t on the line. Final Whistle Football will always be a game of passion, unpredictability, and joy. But when betting turns that joy into anxiety, debt, and isolation, it’s time to blow the whistle. The house always wins – that’s not a slogan, it’s a fact. And no amount of “one last ticket” will change it. Winning once will never be enough, and the sooner you realise that, the sooner you can start enjoying the game again for what it is – 90 minutes of drama, beauty, and sometimes heartbreak, without the crushing weight of money riding on every pass. Betting may seem like an easy way to make money, but in reality, it’s an expensive way to lose peace of mind. Football will always be worth watching. Your life is worth even more. … Read more

Travel: 4 positive transformative power

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The transformative power of travel

Travel is more than just visiting new places—it’s an experience that shapes how we see the world and ourselves. Whether it’s a short trip to a neighboring town or a journey across continents, traveling opens our eyes to new cultures, perspectives, and ways of life. It teaches lessons that can’t always be learned in a classroom or from books, making it one of the most enriching experiences anyone can have. 1. Experiencing New Cultures One of the most exciting parts of traveling is stepping into a world that feels completely different from what we’re used to. Each place has its own traditions, customs, and ways of doing things, and seeing them firsthand is both eye-opening and humbling. For example, in some cultures, people take life at a slower pace, prioritizing family and social connections over rigid schedules. In others, time is seen as something to be managed efficiently, with productivity being the main focus. Neither way is right or wrong—it’s just different. And experiencing these differences firsthand helps us understand that the way we’ve always done things isn’t the only way. Food is another great way to experience a new culture. Trying dishes that are completely unfamiliar—whether it’s a spicy street food delicacy or a homemade meal from a local—gives insight into the history and traditions of a place. There’s something special about sharing a meal with strangers and realizing that, no matter where we come from, food brings people together. 2. Learning to Adapt Travel isn’t always smooth. Flights get delayed, language barriers make communication tricky, and sometimes things don’t go as planned. But these challenges are part of the experience. They push us to adapt, think on our feet, and stay patient. Over time, we become more resourceful, learning to navigate unfamiliar places with confidence. Travel changes how we see everyday life. It’s easy to assume that our way of doing things is the “normal” way—until we see people living completely differently and thriving. It makes us question things we once took for granted. For example, visiting a place where people have fewer material possessions but seem genuinely happy makes us rethink what’s truly important. Seeing people with strong family bonds despite having little reminds us to appreciate what really matters. 3. The Beauty of Nature Travel isn’t just about people and cultures—it’s also about the natural world. Standing in front of a massive waterfall, walking through an ancient forest, or watching the sunset over an unfamiliar landscape reminds us of how vast and beautiful the world really is. Each environment tells its own story. Coastal towns have a deep connection to the sea, while mountain villages adapt to a completely different way of life. Traveling to different landscapes not only makes us appreciate nature’s beauty but also reminds us of the importance of preserving it. Seeing pollution in a once-pristine location or hearing locals talk about how climate change is affecting their way of life makes environmental issues feel more real and urgent. 4. Connecting with People One of the most memorable parts of any journey is the people we meet along the way. Even brief conversations with strangers can leave lasting impressions. Sometimes, the smallest interactions—a local helping with directions, a shopkeeper sharing a story, or a fellow traveler giving advice—turn into meaningful moments. What’s interesting is that despite cultural differences, human connection remains the same everywhere. A smile, a kind gesture, or shared laughter can break through language barriers. It’s in these moments that we realize we’re not so different after all. Coming Home with a New Perspective Travel changes us, even if we don’t realize it right away. Coming back home after a trip often makes us see familiar things differently. The daily routine that once felt boring might now seem comforting. The food we once took for granted might taste better. And the things we used to complain about might not seem so important anymore. At the end of the day, travel isn’t just about the places we visit—it’s about how those places shape us. It challenges us, teaches us, and reminds us of how much there is to explore and learn. And maybe that’s the greatest thing about it—no matter how many places we go, there will always be more to see, more people to meet, and more experiences waiting for us. Also Read: Mental health: 10 practical steps to help you prioritize your mental health

MY BOYFRIENDS SCREWED UP BIG TIME

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My boyfriends screwed up big time

MY BOYFRIENDS SCREWED UP BIG TIME I sat on the couch and stared blankly at the TV as my mind replayed the events of the past days. Really, my boyfriend Alex had messed up this time. I couldn’t believe it. “Hey, what’s wrong?” my best friend, Rachel, asked, plopping down beside me. “It’s Alex,” I said, shaking my head. “He lied to me. Again.” “What did he do this time?” Rachel asked, grimacing her face like one who just tasted a bitter herb. “I found out he’s been talking to his ex behind my back,” I said, feeling a mix of anger and hurt. “That’s awful,” Rachel said. “You deserve so much better.” I nodded, remembering the conversation we had when Alex first told me about his ex. “She’s just a friend,” he had said. “Don’t worry about it.” “Friends don’t text each other at 2 AM,” I replied, raising an eyebrow. Alex laughed it off. “She’s just going through a tough time. I’m trying to be supportive.” I believed him. Or at least, I wanted to. Fast-forward to last night, when I saw the text messages on his phone. “Baby, I miss you,” his ex had written. “I miss you too,” Alex replied. My heart sank. When he tried to hold me while greeting me when he came visiting as usual, I confronted him. “Alex, how could you?” I asked, my voice trembling. “It meant nothing,” he said, minimizing it. “She’s just an old friend.” “An old friend you’re still in love with,” I fired back. Alex sighed. “Look, I know I messed up. But please, don’t leave me.” I rose to my feet and confronted him face-to-face. “You broke my trust, Alex. I don’t think I would ever be able to trust you anymore.” “You don’t have to do this,” he retorted. “Well, I am,” I answered. Rachel reached out and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “You did the right thing,” she said. “You deserve someone who respects and loves you fully.” I nodded, knowing she was right. I thought I overreacted but he didn’t try as much as I thought to beg me to return. He did just little. I was broken. The one I trusted had flopped. I sat down on the couch, knowing that all this time, I had been blinded to Alex’s flaws. “It’s time for me to move on,” I said to Rachel. “Oh, about time,” she replied with a smile. It took weeks, but slowly I was healing. Alex tried to win me back, but I wouldn’t budge. It was too late “I’m sorry,” he texted. “Sorry isn’t enough,” I replied. After a few weeks, I was with Racheal when I met someone new. “Hi, I’m Max,” he said, smiling. “Hi,” I replied, my heart fluttering. “I am Bella” READ ALSO A Regret that lasted a lifetime He was perfect, or so I thought. We met over cups of coffee again because we were both into books. The conversations flowed, and on our dates, laughter was never far away. Six months rolled around, and cracks started to appear. “Hey, where were you last night?” I asked him over breakfast. “Out with friends,” he said, not looking my way. “Just friends?” I pushed. Max hesitated before answering. “There was someone else there.from work.” Instinct had kicked in. “Who is she?” I asked firmly. “Emily. She’s new at the office. We just grabbed drinks.” I remembered the texts I’d seen on his phone. “Max, I’ve seen the way you talk to her. Flirty messages, late-night conversations.” Max sighed. “It’s harmless. You’re overreacting.” “Overreacting?” I echoed. “You’re hiding something from me.” Max’s face changed. READ ALSO 5 WAYS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS “Fine. Emily and I. We have a past. Okay? But it’s over. 5 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS “A past?” I echoed, shocked. “We dated briefly before I met you. It was casual.” “Casual?” I shook my head. “You never mentioned her.” “I didn’t want to hurt you,” Max said. “Hurt me?” I laughed bitterly. “You’re hurting me now.” Max reached for my hand. “I love you. Not Emily.” I pulled away. “Love? You call this love? You’re still connected to her.” The conversation finished with Max storming out, claiming that he needed space. I knew then I was caught in the same cycle. It was hard to admit it. “Why do I always attract these guys?” I later asked Rachel. “Oh, you deserve better,” she said. “Probably take time to put a little more focus on yourself.” I nodded, knowing the truth. “No more relationships for a while. They screwed up or maybe I did.” Rachel smiled.

YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT IN NIGERIA

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youth unemployment in Nigeria

Hers was a sad case, Bola had graduated from the prestigious University of Ibadan with a high flying grade, the most prized first class of excellence. Yet, after several years of graduation and re-enabling herself, she was still unable to secure a good job that understood her worth and gained experience. Sadly, this is the tune played by most graduates in Nigeria. This youth unemployment in Nigeria has introduced a lot of havoc among the young adults. Except a few who possess strong connections and have good luck, or better still favour from the divinity, many are underpaid and struggle to make ends meet. According to Wikipedia, unemployment is a situation in which able-bodied people, who are looking for a job cannot find one and voluntary unemployment is attributed to the individual’s decision whereas, involuntary unemployment exists because of the socioeconomic environment, including the market structure, government intervention and the level of aggregate demand in which individuals operate. As Nigeria’s youth population grows, so does the unemployment rate of youths, the majority of unemployed people being females and rural dwellers. Research studies According to the National Universities Commission (NUC), Nigeria presently has 43 federal universities, 52 state universities, and 79 private universities. By some estimates, Nigeria’s tertiary education and institutions produce up to 500,000 graduates every year and there are also Nigerians who study abroad who come home to seek jobs. Older Nigerians speak of a past when young graduates had jobs lined up even before they graduated. The plague of unemployment has continued to increase despite the abundant human and natural resources available in the country. Chronic youth unemployment is evident in Nigeria, the streets are littered with youth hawkers who ordinarily should have found gainful employment in some enterprise. The large number of youths who are unemployed is capable of undermining democratic practice as they constitute a serious threat if engaged by the political class in clandestine and criminal activities. Youth unemployment in Nigeria has led to an increase in the crime rate and has resulted in Nigeria’s setbacks and problems. Nigeria remains crippled with a massive unemployment level that continues to exact a considerable toll on its socioeconomic prospects. Causes of Youth Unemployment in Nigeria There are so many causes of youth unemployment in Nigeria, some of which are: Rapid rural-urban migration and an upgraded curriculum. Frustration, dejection, and desperation. Dependency on family members and friends, who have their problems to contend with. This precarious unemployment situation has left the youths in a vicious cycle of poverty that daily erodes their confidence and bright future. The issue of youth unemployment in Nigeria can be salvaged or reduced in the following ways: Encouraging creativity and dexterity as youths acquire different vocational skills thereby, making them job creators rather than job seekers. Vocational and technical education should be vigorously pursued. Provision of soft loans to the trained youths as take-off capital. Rural-urban migration should be checked: This can be achieved through the provision of essential social amenities that will make life in rural areas attractive to the youths. A mismanaged population growth is a recipe for disaster, as it would readily create an army of unemployed people who could turn to crime as a survival strategy. Public enlightenment campaigns on the dangers of population explosion and its adverse effect on national development. These strategies need to be placed in the right sectors to foster the employability of young graduates and develop the nation at large. Conclusion The issue of unemployment is stiffing to any country. Deliberate action through enlightenment, rural-urban migration management, and other strategies need to be put in place to manage the youth unemployment in Nigeria situation.

Marriage: 7 things to consider for a successful marriage

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Marriage.things to do

Marriage isn’t just about wearing a ring or having a beautiful wedding. It’s about choosing someone to walk through life with—someone to share your highest highs and toughest lows. It’s a huge decision, and while love is important, it’s not the only thing you need to make it work. Before you say “I do,” it’s worth sitting down and thinking things through. Here are seven real and important things to consider before taking that step. 1. Do We Truly Match—In Ways That Matter? You don’t need to be exactly the same to be a great match. In fact, your differences can make the relationship even richer. But when it comes to the big stuff—values, beliefs, and life goals—it’s crucial to be on the same page. Ask yourself: Do we both want kids? Are we on the same wavelength about money, religion, or how we want to live? For example, if one of you dreams of a quiet life in the countryside and the other wants the hustle of city life forever, that’s something worth discussing early. Shared values make decision-making easier and reduce conflict later on. 2. Can We Really Talk to Each Other? Good communication is the heartbeat of a healthy marriage. It’s not just about talking, but being honest, vulnerable, and respectful even when you’re upset. Do you feel heard when you express your feelings? Does your partner open up, too? If little misunderstandings often turn into big fights, or if either of you struggles to speak openly about feelings, that’s something to work on before tying the knot. Marriage is full of discussions—about finances, family, plans, and emotions—and being able to navigate those conversations kindly is key. 3. How Do We Handle Money? Let’s be honest, money can get messy. Some people are savers, others are spenders. Some are totally fine with debt, while others feel stressed just hearing the word. Before you get married, talk openly about your financial habits, incomes, savings, debts, and future plans. Are you comfortable combining accounts, or do you prefer to keep things separate? Who handles the budgeting? Will you set financial goals together? These conversations might not be romantic, but they are absolutely necessary for peace of mind. 4. Are We Both Emotionally Ready? Marriage isn’t always easy, and it takes emotional maturity to handle its ups and downs. That means being able to admit when you’re wrong, to apologize, to forgive, and to grow. Take a moment to reflect: When things go wrong, do we blame each other or work together? Can we disagree without being disrespectful? If either of you struggles with emotional regulation or carries unresolved baggage from the past, it might be time for some self-work before stepping into marriage. 5. How Do Our Families Fit Into the Picture? Let’s face it: when you marry someone, you’re also joining parts of their family—and they’re joining yours. So it helps to understand where your partner is coming from. What were they taught about relationships? Are there traditions or expectations that matter to them? Also, don’t shy away from talking about your own future family. How many kids do you want? What’s your ideal parenting style? Will both of you work, or will one stay home? These aren’t just “someday” topics—they can affect your relationship in big ways. 6. How Do We Handle Fights? In marriage, no couple is perfect. Disagreements will happen. What matters is how you deal with them. Do you listen to each other, or just wait for your turn to talk? Do fights become personal, or do you work toward a solution? Think about how you and your partner typically resolve issues. If one of you tends to shut down or if conflicts linger unresolved for days, that could build resentment over time. The way you handle disagreements before marriage often predicts how you’ll handle bigger ones later. 7. Are We Headed in the Same Direction? Love is about more than today—it’s also about where you’re going. Sit down and ask: What does the future look like for us? Do we want to travel the world or settle down early? Start a business together or pursue separate careers? Your dreams don’t have to be identical, but they should be compatible. A couple that dreams together, plans together, and builds together has a much stronger chance of lasting happiness. Marriage is one of the most beautiful commitments you can make, but it’s not something to rush into. Take the time to talk, reflect, and really get to know not just your partner, but yourself. These seven areas—compatibility, communication, money, emotional maturity, family dynamics, conflict resolution, and long-term goals—can make all the difference between a marriage that simply survives and one that truly thrives. You don’t have to have all the answers now. But being open, honest, and intentional sets the foundation for a relationship built on mutual respect, growth, and lasting love.

Mental Health: 10 Practical Steps to Help You Prioritize Your Mental Health

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When Born Again Beliefs Collide With Mental Health Issues

Your mental health encompasses your overall well-being. It cannot be taken out of the equation, and must never be neglected. Practical ways to prioritize your mental health includes: being positive and productive, not living your life based on social media standards, loving and prioritizing yourself.