Creative Writing

Breaking Free from Philophobia: A Guide to Overcoming Your Fear of Love

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As a person, I personally have a great admiration for people falling in love and wish to be a lover, too. It has been three years now, and I have not been in a relationship. Even, after multiple talking stages, I come out alone. My fear and anxiety come from thought of if my partner, will be able to cope with my flaws and incapabilities, and this uncertainty, makes me give up. If you have a similar experience, you have Philophobia. The term “Philophobia” can be viewed as “an irrational fear of love.” A person with philophobia has an intense fear of love and relationships. This fear is complex and challenging. And there are ways to overcome it. People with Philophobia tend to experience a range of symptoms such as: Anxiety or panic attacks when thinking about or being in a relationship Avoidance of situations that may lead to a relationship, such as social events or dating Having difficulty expressing feelings of love or affection Fear of intimacy, vulnerability, or commitment Fear of being rejected or abandoned Fear of the unknown Low self-esteem or a negative view of oneself Difficulty forming or maintaining close relationships Difficulty trusting others Ghosting love interest or emotional unavailability during romantic relationships. Feeling trapped or suffocated in a romantic relationship Inconsistencies in calling or hanging out during relationships A history of failed or abusive relationships. Philophobia has a negative impact on a person’s life, and they find it difficult to difficult to find a job, succeed in school, or achieve other life goals. And it will be advisable to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand your fear and develop coping mechanisms to manage it. The cause of Philophobia can be as a result of variety of factors, which include: Negative experiences in past relationships Low self-esteem Anxiety or depression Childhood trauma Cultural or religious beliefs Mental health conditions such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or social anxiety disorder Philophobia can be overcome. Here are reliable tips to help: Talk to a therapist or counsellor. They can help you to understand your fear and develop coping mechanisms to manage it. Join a support group for people with philophobia. This can be a great way to connect with others who understand what you are going through. Identify situations that trigger your fear and tackle head-on. Challenging your negative thoughts and beliefs and replacing them with positive ones. Practice self-care to build your self-esteem. This includes getting enough sleep, visualization, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. Conclusion Philophobia is a complex and challenging fear, and there are ways to tackle it. Through expert’s aid, support groups, identification of triggers, positive thinking, and self-care, you will be able to overcome it. You are not alone, as many people understand what you are going through, and they are ready and available to help.

FOOTPRINTS

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To Ada, nature seemed to be the only thing life could not mess with, as it does with humans. At 16, the sea had become her favorite. It was like a balm to her soul, easing her pain. The recent experience with Papa began to replay in her mind, gaining passage into her thoughts. She wished she could stop them, she wished her brain would delete the traumatizing encounters with Papa, instead of hitting replay anytime her mind wandered. She had done more than wishing. On many occasions, she always tried to stop thinking about the traumatic life with Papa but somehow, it was always a futile effort.It was market day, Papa had given her money to purchase foodstuffs but unfortunately, robbers attacked her on the way. Papa’s wrathful shouting and cussing filled her ears and pierced her heart. Tears rolled down her cheeks, as his words came back to taunt her.‘Do you want to kill me like you killed my wife? Eh, joy killer!” He shouted, landing quick successive slaps on her right cheek before using his belt on her scarred body. She had outgrown physical pain but the emotional assault would always sting, no matter how many times he repeated the same phrase without mincing a word.The constant reminder that her mother died while giving her life, was a pain she couldn’t express with words. The pain was deeper than the jagged, ugly scars riddling her body. She would have cared less if her father’s hatred wasn’t inclusive. He didn’t even make any efforts to disguise his hatred, he made it obvious for everyone to see, even the blind.To him, she killed his loving wife and caused his wretchedness. She wished her father would accept that it was not her fault Mama kicked the bucket the instant she ‘pushed’ her into the world. She desired her father would open his eyes and see she was not an evil child. Who wouldn’t want to be showered with motherly affection? Just as he craved a wife’s love, she too craved a mother’s love! Why wouldn’t he see that?Sometimes, she earnestly hoped he would realize she was just as unlucky as he was. After all, she lost a mother, his acceptance, and his love.Her phone vibrated, jolting her out of her reverie, and confirming it was time to leave. Just like every other footprint staring at her, she stared back, noting the size and imprint of each one.She stood up, shook out her flowing skirt, and took a final glance at the different sizes etched on the sand. It spoke of the different souls with diverse situations, who had also walked across the white sands of the seashore.She wondered if people’s life torments were measured by foot sizes as well. Has someone who lost everything, treaded here? Has someone with mild physical pain sought the peace only serenity can give?There was no way she would know for sure, but she was grateful for the footprints, it was a reminder that she wasn’t alone in her struggles.“A footprint holds the story of an overcomer.” She murmured to herself. The strength to continue living, and the courage to dream and hope for a better life, came from these footprints. These soldiers who had gone before her didn’t give up.“I won’t give up.” She said into the chill air, “One day, my story will change. I will come here again, press my feet deep into the sand, and leave a story of hope.”Wiping a lone tear that escaped her eyes, she pulled her foot from her worn rubber slippers and pressed it into the cool sand.“One day, this sand will bear testimony of my story.” She said as she turned to leave for home; a building that reeked of sorrow, anger, and bitterness, and a family she never got to know.

4 Proven Strategies to Prevent Writer’s Block.

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Writer’s block is every writer’s worst nightmare. Are you battling writer’s block or tired of constantly running out of creative ideas when you’re writing? It’s a common challenge for many writers, and I’ve been there too. Here are 4 proven strategies to prevent writer’s block and fuel your creative writing. Read, Observe, and Listen: Stimulate your creativity by immersing yourself in different sources of inspiration. Reading not only provides valuable information but also generates mental images that can fuel your creative writing. Watching movies and visuals related to your niche, as well as observing your surroundings, can spark fresh ideas. Additionally, listening to various forms of content can stimulate your brain in unique ways. By combining these activities, you’ll find your pen flowing effortlessly. Keep a Digital Notebook:  Taking the previous tip a step further, it’s crucial to capture those fleeting moments of inspiration. Our minds can get overwhelmed with daily activities, making it easy to forget brilliant ideas and experience writer’s block. Thankfully, we now have electronic notepads that allow us to jot down thoughts on the go. With a simple press of a button, you can record your ideas, ensuring you never miss an opportunity to nurture your creative content. With this, you can say farewell to writer’s block! Write, Write, Write: Once you’ve gathered your creative ideas in their raw form, it’s time to refine them through writing. Remember, these ideas won’t refine themselves. Consistency is key. Commit to writing regularly, as creative content thrives when you nurture it consistently. Consider embarking on a writing challenge, whether it’s for 10, 20, or even 100 days. Don’t worry about the length; focus on maintaining a steady writing routine. The more you write, the more your creative well will deepen and overflow with fresh ideas. Writer’s block worst enemy is consistent writing.   4.  Ask for feedback: Working with other authors and getting input from your peers is one of the best methods to keep your original work flowing. Working with others in your niche might provide you new insights and concepts that you might not have thought of on your own. It’s a fantastic way to stretch your imagination and broaden your perspectives. Don’t be afraid to share your work for helpful feedback, participate in writing clubs, or join writing forums. Accepting comments and participation might act as a catalyst for your creative content writing and bid writer’s block farewell. By implementing these three strategies, you’ll not only avoid the frustration of writer’s block or of running out of creative content but also enhance your writing skills and productivity. So, grab your pen and start creating the magic your audience is waiting for. Happy writing!   Evelyn Temitayo Ajimuda is a versatile creative writer, content creator, poet, and captivating storyteller. With her words, she weaves narratives that inspire hope and spread boundless joy to her readers.

Dear Diary: House Men

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Dear diary

Dear Diary, Today marks the 15th year of suffering with a man I thought I loved. I’ve seen you haven’t gotten wary of my complaints. That’s the reason I take solace in you. I have no happy memories to record now, and I don’t think I would ever have to record one in you. I have made you become a compendium of my tales of marital woes. I thought my husband would be loving like he was when we courted, but it turned out to be a deception. I have wondered why I couldn’t detect these obscene characters when we were in courtship, but it turned out that I had the blindfold of love on my eyes, and couldn’t see well. Would I say I didn’t notice? I did, but I thought my love for him would make him change. Well, who became a liar in the long run? Me. If not for the resounding words of Pastor Sam ” …till death do you part”, and for my piousness, Kunle would be wifeless by now. Ah, Kunle..what have you done to me? If not for the two children God has blessed me with, and for the new life in me, what would I be grateful for after 15 years of horrible marriage? Anyways, Diary, as usual, I have ranted, and my secrets remain with you. Be good till I come your way again with more woes. Hopefully, they’re not as many as I have imagined”. Adaku dropped her pen. It was obvious that the diary had absorbed a copious amount of her tears. It was wet with both serous and mucous secretions from her lacrimal and salivary glands. She closed the diary. It had a pink-coloured cover with a bold inscription of “To you, my only love”. Those inscriptions sent her travelling down memory lane. Who knows maybe she could find the person that wrote that, because this person lying beside her, and snoring like a knocked engine with reckless abandon doesn’t look like the person that inscribed those words. It was on the 15th of June (what a coincidence, she thought) when Kunle came to her apartment to pay her a surprise visit. He came along with some friends, according to the standards of the church.Pastor Timothy always ensured he emphasized group visitation during relationship seminars. He said he wouldn’t tolerate stories of “it was a mistake” any longer because his ears were filled. “I don’t want to know whether you are a strong brother, who is mighty in the scriptures and a firebrand, anytime you’re going to visit a Sister, you must go with your fellow brothers. Same applies to the ladies too.” She remembered his words vividly. He wore a red suit that day. It was a valentine service, and he stated he had come for war. It was obvious as he spoke with all the seriousness he could muster. There was graveyard silence in the church that day during his sermon, which was unlike his previous sermons. “Many of you have blindfolded yourself deliberately because of the so-called love you proclaimed to have. Do you even know what love is? ” That time, he had walked away from the pulpit. He walked on the narrow aisle that separated the two rows in the church and looked everyone in the eyes as he preached. The guilty ones evaded his gaze stylishly, the innocent ones( which happened to be a mixed multitude)held his gaze and even jotted every single word he said diligently. She didn’t forget the spot where she sat that day. It was close to the aisle, and the pastor looked at her like she was the only guilty person in the congregation. It took all the courage in her to maintain a calm disposition. Why would he look at her that way? Probably God was trying to pass a message of danger to her, but she waved it off. Her Spirit also troubled her within. However, she counted everything to be a coincidence. She was pretty after all, and that could be a reason for the gaze. How foolish she was to have thought that. Her eyes were blindfolded to see that Pastor Timothy’s face was very stern. It had all the wrinkled lines his frown could produce. He was damn serious with every word he spoke. Who would look at a pretty lady that way? Only if she knew the danger that lurked ahead in her ” smooth ride” affair with Kunle, she would have backed out. But, despite the warning the pastor passed to everyone (especially her, because why would he look at her the way he did?)She was blindfolded ( the pastor was right). Kunle was just the perfect guy she had dreamt of, and nothing, not even the pastor’s gaze nor the message of warning could dissuade her. She loved Kunle, and he loved her too (perhaps). After that soul-captivating sermon preached by Pastor Timothy, there was a change. Every brother, both strong and weak, would go in a group of 3 or 4 to visit any sister. Some very strong brothers would make their group number to be 5 or more. Unfortunately for her, Kunle was in this league. When he came with his friends, one would think they were going for a men’s hangout, if only they knew it was a Sister that they were going to visit. No one wants to commit any “mistake” and earn the terror and discipline of Pastor Timothy. It was that serious then. The last one that happened, Pastor Timothy made sure he called out the defaulters and solicited the church to pray for God to have mercy on them. The duo involved were so embarrassed that they left the church afterwards, and no one could tell their whereabouts. It was a few weeks later the pastor announced that the lady involved had been impregnated, but the guy had vanished into thin air. “Whatever I do and preach here is for your … Read more

The Interview

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The Interview

She walked into the reception’s office and greeted the receptionist who welcomed her with a friendly smile, “Good afternoon, I’m here for the interview.” She spoke slowly. “Okay, write your name here seat over there. You’ll be attended to shortly.” “Alright, thank you.” As she moved towards the seats provided, she noticed a man who had arrived earlier sitting at the far end of the phone. He had not looked up since the time she arrived as he kept scrolling through his phone.  She made an attempt to exchange pleasantries with him, but she soon discovered that he wasn’t in the mood for such. She sat down and began to brood over her life’s problems. From the moment she left her house, fear had overpowered her. This was the first she would be going for a job interview since she graduated. She had no idea on what to expect, and she wasn’t sure her internship experience would be enough to grant her a job. She only hoped that she would get the job. Her friend had messaged her about the job opening, and she seized the opportunity and applied for it. A month after her service, she was beginning to get tired of her parent’s continuous ranting about her lazing around at home while her mates were getting jobs in reputable companies. Although they seemed to be saying the truth, she had hoped they would be more careful with their words when addressing her. Before she finished her service year, she had already begun to apply for various jobs. She wished she got one in the state she served so she wouldn’t need to travel home. She received no positive response from them, and in frustration, she returned. At home, she decided she was going to take some time to recuperate before launching out again. Before she knew what was happening, her parent had started to ask questions and demanded some changes. She was frustrated and tired of life all together, and their bickering wasn’t helping her in anyway. Just then, another interviewee walked in, but her thoughts were only on her personal problems. He greeted her, and all she could do was respond with a smile. At this point, she was able to understand why the man sitting behind wasn’t responsive to her own greeting. To her greatest surprise, when the new man hollered at him, he responded with a loud voice. This action made her to intentionally turn around to look at him, just to be certain his mouth was actually moving. Before their eyes could meet, the man was back on his phone again. She chose not to react to his bizarre actions as her thoughts quickly snapped back at her. She had always fantasized about how she was going to act once she got a job. There will be no more sitting around at home, and thinking of ways to get busy all day long. She would have to wake up early; dress formally while she’s leaving the house, in her work shoes and a good bag to fit. She also thought of the stress that would follow after her work each day, and if it wasn’t a job that she had a passion for, “Oh, how depressing that would be!” There was also one thing her parent was repeatedly talking about that had just skipped her mind. In a flash, her mind made the connection, “Of course, marriage. What is it about marriage talk all the time?” she thought, frowning deeply. “Did I say something wrong?” the new interviewee who sat next to her asked, bringing her out of her thoughts. Apparently, he had been speaking to her. “Sorry, you said?” she asked a little confused. “I asked for your name,” “Oh! My name….. my name….” she searched her brain for what her next response ought to be, “That would be Hannah,” she said unsure. “Yes, Hannah.” She affirmed confidently. “Are you alright?” he asked, observing her closely. “Of course, I am alright,” she faked a smile at him. “Is this your first time doing an interview?” “Yes, it is,” she stated nervously. “Alright, I’ll just get you a bottle of water. It will help calm your nerves.” He brought the bottle of water and handed it over to her. She collected it, thanked him and was about to down the whole bottle when he cleared his throat. She stopped herself in time as he spoke, “Erm! I think you should take just a little. Like take it in small sips. It will help better, and you won’t have to be so pressed during your interview.” He smiled genuinely. She nodded and tried to heed his advice. After taking a sip, she asked, “What’s your own name?” “I’m Mercy,” he said with a smile, “and this isn’t my first time doing an interview. So, how long have you been here?” “It’s just a few minutes before you walked in. I think he came here first,” she said referring to the man sitting behind them. “Does he even look like an interviewee? I think he just came to observe us?” “Do you think so? I was just wondering why he chose to be such a snub,” she responded disgustedly. “Why do you say that?” “Before you came in, I greeted this man and he didn’t even bother to look up, let alone respond to me. See the way he responded to you like he already knew you somewhere, yet we’re all seeing one another for the first time. I don’t know if he just has a problem with ladies or it’s just me. He’s definitely a snub.” “Well, you don’t really want him to hear that,” he said whispering. She smiled looking down at the bottle. “Well, thank you for the water. It’s really calming. Where did you learn such trick?” “Oh! I saw it in a movie. Actually the person was given tea to drink. I just thought water should be helpful too.” She … Read more