Healing

How a Teacher’s Faith Helped a Disabled Student Walk

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How a Teacher's Faith Helped a Disabled Student Walk

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” The Bible verse echoed in Hannah’s subconscious as she watched Freda from the corner of her eye. The feeling came again, yet Hannah could not put a name to it. It was just like her first day at the school. Freda’s bright smile caught her attention when she was introduced to her students. She had asked them to share their names, and one by one, they stood up to introduce themselves. When it was Freda’s turn, she stated her name and made a subtle gesture, as if handing over an invisible baton to the next student, signalling them to proceed with their introduction. Hannah was taken aback when Freda didn’t stand up to introduce herself. That’s when she noticed the special needs chair Freda was sitting in. Suddenly, an uneasy feeling rose from her stomach and exploded in her heart. Really, Lord? Hannah had gone home that day to pray feeling so full. “I don’t think I want any disabled person in my class; my heart is too fragile to accept it. I don’t want to treat her differently; I don’t even know how to teach a disabled person,” she continued in prayers. She prayed, then burst into tears, and eventually, laughter followed. What was happening to her? How different would it be to teach one who has a physical disability? Hannah’s laughter was short-lived, as tears began to flow once more, “I still don’t know what to do; I feel like I owe her a responsibility, and I’m not going to fail her; please help me, Lord.” And so now, she watched as Freda worked her numbers, counting some off with her fingers and eyes furrowed in concentration. Hannah wondered if the class work she had given was too challenging, but then she reminded herself that it was straight from their Grade 4 mathematics textbook. She opened the textbook again to review the assessment and reassured herself that the work was suitable, plus she had just shown them how to do it. Freda was the first to finish and, in her usual way, started to wheel herself to the front to submit. Hannah struggled with standing up and going to meet her halfway to collect it or allow her to come all day. She decided the latter and watched as Freda came forward and placed her note dutifully on her desk, then wheeled back to her position just in between the rows of seats. Hannah exhaled deeply, only then realizing she had been holding her breath the entire time she was watching Freda “Dear Lord, please save me from this feeling. Please help me,” she muttered quietly. She took Freda’s note, scanned through her work quickly and the smile started stretching her lips. The girl was just too brilliant! Hannah took her pen and started marking. Other students soon started submitting one after the other. Hannah knew then that she had nothing to worry about. She would be a great teacher for Freda. Those high thoughts clouded Hannah’s mind till the end of the term, she saw Freda differently and even started including her in every extracurricular activity. She ensured Freda joined the other kids for P.E. She made her join the music class and encouraged her to sing loud just like the others. Next, she encouraged her to join the choreography class as well. She might not be able to stand and move her body like the others, but at least she could move it in her wheelchair and work it with her hands. “I’ve never done this before,” Freda would always say whenever Hannah introduced a new activity for her to do. “Well, today is your lucky day,” Hannah would respond and wheel her out to the table tennis court, to the art and painting class, to the music class and the dance class. So it happened, the day that changed everything. It was a few minutes to their break time for the curricular activity. Hannah erased the whiteboard the second time to continue writing and completing the notes on social studies for the week. She was done in no time and waited for her students to finish writing, too, before erasing the board again. She walked around the class, observing as the students looked up at the board, took in the information, and transferred it to their notes. “Please hurry up, it’s almost time for a break,” Hannah urged them. She walked back to the board to erase a section at the top, making space to write again. Then a glorious thought came to her mind and in no time, it flooded her entire system. Her pulse quickened as she gripped the eraser in her hands and turned to face the class. “Who would like to help me wipe the board?” She asked. All hands went up, as always. Hannah wondered why this task was a class favourite. Everyone except Freda, who never joined in. Hannah knew she wouldn’t raise her hand. “Freda,” Hannah called. The class gasped, all eyes darted at Hannah and then at Freda. What was she trying to do? Freda’s hand would not even get to the top of the board. Freda was shocked as well and sat frozen in her chair. Hannah had never called her before. “Have it,” Hannah stretched the eraser to her, “Come and wipe the top of the board.” Hannah’s eyes got teary immediately as she held out her hand waiting for Freda to come take the eraser. “The top of the board?” Freda asked puzzled “Yes.” “Ma——” “No excuses, please wipe the top of the board,” Hannah said gently. Freda wheeled herself to the front of the class and dutifully collected the eraser from Hannah. “Ma, she can’t do it. Can I come and help?” The class prefect offered. It felt like a punishment. Everyone knew it was impossible so why would Hannah choose to humiliate Freda like that? Hannah … Read more

An Introduction To Femininity

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An Introduction To Femininity

Femininity is not just the act of being a traditional female. In a world where man is seen as the ultimate creation, femininity is God’s way of saying, “I made you into a creature with exquisite grace, indescribable beauty, and profound intelligence.” Embracing femininity means accepting the grace and assurance that comes with being a woman. In our contemporary society, femininity is associated with qualities such as independence, outspokenness, compassion, and kindness, marking a significant departure from its past connotation of docility or meekness. This evolution challenges the very outdated notion that femininity is useless or has barely added any value to society. Despite societal expectations of femininity to mean conforming to specific societal behaviours, the real question remains: Who can dictate what should be accepted or rejected? However, prioritizing self-care is essential to exhibiting femininity, and you can start by imbibing the following lifestyle: Gracefulness With the simple ability to be polite and kind in your behaviour, especially in a difficult situation and within the realm of femininity, you should be able to discern when to express graciousness. This means you can ask for help when needed, and this does not diminish your femininity; instead, it lets the world know you would rather ask for help than fail at your task. Gracefulness also means not being rude, attracting your desired life, and learning from other successful individuals. Fashion Edith Head once said, “You can have anything you want in life as long as you dress for it.” Your outlook is an essential part of your femininity. Femininity radically implies having a pleasing and attractive physical appearance. So your outlook should remind everybody that you are not to be demeaned or approached with issues or topics not worth your time and energy. Don’t be afraid to dress as boldly and loudly as you can. Boldness The best way to explore femininity is to go out and courageously do what makes you happy. This requires adopting the mindset, “I want what I want, and I will not settle.” Whether it’s embracing a feminine or masculine lifestyle, go out and indulge yourself in anything and everything that makes you happy and feel full. Feminity is living as large as you can and having no regrets at the end of the day. Love abundantly, express your emotions freely, pursue a career, and be whatever you aspire to be! Healing: Sometimes, women get so busy with everyday stuff that they forget to care for themselves. It’s important to realize what we need and give ourselves some love. Let’s be real: We often don’t take enough time off or relax as much as we should. We’re always working and don’t always enjoy the fun stuff in life. You can have little breaks every day. Make time to chill out and do things you like, like reading, listening to music, or doing yoga. When you take a break from all the work and stress, you’ll feel more like yourself again. READ ALSO: 10 Healthy Steps To Defeat Negativity In wrapping up, I wish you the best as you embark on your journey toward embracing a more feminine lifestyle. It’s important to note that the perspective shared here is solely my opinion on femininity, and I wholeheartedly support whatever decisions you make.

Philophobia: The Fear of Love

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Philophobia The Fear of Love

The once vibrant colors of love in Nancy’s life had faded to a monochrome of despair. Each attempt at affection felt like a cruel lesson from fate, reaffirming her unworthiness of love’s embrace. The wounds inflicted by Stan’s departure had yet to heal, an abrupt storm leaving her heart battered and her soul drenched in sorrow. Rick’s fleeting presence had been a glimmer of hope, a fragile ray of sunshine in her cloudy existence, only to be snuffed out by the inevitable hands of death, leaving her grasping at echoes of what could have been. Her childhood, marred by the absence of nurturing affection, had seeded the roots of her phobia. Abandoned by those meant to provide solace, she had grown to harbor a myriad of fears, weaving a web of insecurities that ensnared her heart. Abandonment, rejection, entrapment – the ghosts of her past traumas haunted her steps, casting a shadow over any relationship.  The distorted lens through which she viewed relationships was a prism of her pain. She believed love was a shackle, a hindrance like her mother’s concealed dreams. Her mother’s unloving words, echoing that she was a mistake, reinforced this belief. Any glimmer of affection was met with resistance, her subconscious was determined to protect her from the perceived inevitability of heartache. Yet, amidst her fortifications, there lingered a faint whisper that perhaps she was wrong, that she deserved love and happiness.  Philophobia, the fear of love, was a relentless adversary, entwined with layers of paranoia, depression, and self-worth issues. The journey to overcoming this consuming fear was arduous. To challenge Philophobia meant dismantling the barricades of unhelpful thoughts. It required replacing the echoes of doubt with the symphony of self-compassion. Understanding that fears often masquerade as truths was crucial; the realization that her parents’ loveless union didn’t dictate her path. Gradually, she embraced the notion that everyone deserves love, including herself. Therapy became a sanctuary where she confronted the haunting memories and reshaped her narrative. Through this, she discovered the beauty of openness, the strength in allowing oneself to feel and connect. The journey was not swift nor without setbacks. But in each step forward, she reclaimed a piece of herself. Love, once feared, became a beacon of hope, a possibility rather than a fiction. She learned that overcoming Philophobia meant rewriting her story, one page at a time, embracing the colorful tapestry of emotions that love brings, knowing that in vulnerability, there’s profound strength. Philophobia isn’t unique to her story; it’s a struggle that many people face. Past traumas, painful breakups, or a lack of positive role models in relationships can contribute to this fear. The resulting isolation, feelings of unworthiness, and an aversion to emotional intimacy become a barrier to experiencing and maintaining love and connection Like Nancy, overcoming Philophobia is a challenging but possible journey. Challenging negative thoughts and understanding that past experiences don’t necessarily define future relationships is crucial. Seeking therapy or counseling can help unravel deep-rooted fears and traumas, providing tools to reframe thoughts and build healthier relationship patterns.  Learning to be kind to oneself is another essential step. Recognizing that everyone deserves love, including oneself, is a fundamental shift in mindset.  Overcoming Philophobia isn’t just about finding love; it’s about reclaiming the ability to connect, heal, and grow. Most importantly, consider seeking solace in a relationship with God, the source of perfect love that conquers all fear. Embracing this relationship has the power to dissolve the deepest fears within you, including any phobia towards love. Despite life’s challenges, experiencing the love of God dispels the shadows of fear and the enablement to enjoy love in the purest form.

Self-Acceptance – Key to Building a Healthy and Positive Relationship

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Self-Acceptance - Key to Building a Healthy and Positive Relationship

Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is the key to building a healthy and positive relationship with oneself.

Key Components of Self-Acceptance

  1. Self-Compassion: You must learn to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in the face of challenges or mistakes. This involves offering the same compassion to yourself as you would offer to a friend.
  2. Self-Appraisal: You need to have a realistic and balanced view of yourself, and acknowledge your strengths and areas for growth without overly criticizing or inflating your abilities.
  3. Self-Approval: Self-acceptance is about relying on internal validation and approval rather than seeking constant validation from others. Understanding that external opinions do not solely determine your worth. Look inward and capture your real personhood.
  4. Self-Love: One thing you must always do is cultivate genuine love and care for yourself. This involves prioritizing self-care and making healthy choices that contribute to your overall well-being.

 

  1. Self-talk: Be watchful and sensitive about the self-conversation or inner conversation you carry in your mind. What do you tell yourself? Are they positive or negative words?

“I am a good and caring person.”

“I am capable of achieving success in my life.”

“I am intelligent.”

“I am not alone in this. I know there are people who love me and will be there for me when I need them.” etc

WHAT IS SELF-ACCEPTANCE?

Self-acceptance is the ability to embrace and fully accept oneself, including one’s strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and imperfections. It involves acknowledging and appreciating your individuality without judgment or the need for external validation.

1. Embrace What Makes You Unique

A good place to start is to think of the things that make you special. Ask yourself how these differences may benefit you in the future and how they add value to your life.

2. Let go of the Things you can’t Change

It’s important not to focus on the things you can’t change. You may find it helpful to write a letter to yourself about letting go of what you can’t change and welcoming the things you love about yourself. Self-acceptance is essential for your mental and emotional well-being. It’s important to learn to love yourself and the things that make you unique.

Self-acceptance is learning to love yourself, inside and out. It’s about letting go of the things you can’t change and appreciating what makes you unique.

3. Identify your Strengths

Write down the things you’re good at and/or love to do (e.g. sports, watching movies, music, art, etc.). Practicing these activities regularly can help you feel more confident in your abilities.

4. Set Goals

Set a few realistic goals for yourself and create a plan to meet them (this may also help with your self-esteem).

Don’t forget to reward yourself when you meet a goal!

5. Celebrate Your Accomplishments

Make a list of everything you’ve accomplished so far and add to it regularly. Post your list someplace where you can see it often. Be proud of yourself!

6. Plan ahead

If you can, try to avoid the people and/or things that challenge your self-acceptance.

8. Show Gratitude

There’s so much in our lives that we can be grateful for. Get two jars and label it Gratitude Jar and the other Happening Jar.

At the end of each day, write down what you are grateful for and what happened that overwhelmed you or got you angry. At the end of each year, you will be surprised at how much God has done for you/saved you from.

8. Be Kind to Yourself

Consider a few things you can do to treat yourself and spend quality time on your own (e.g. taking a warm bath, going for a walk in nature, going to the spa to be pampered, etc.).

It’s also important to take care of yourself by eating right, sleeping enough, and exercising regularly.

9. Think Positively

Remember to speak kindly to yourself and turn any self-critical, negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

Don’t be too hard on yourself or compare yourself to others. Positive thinking naturally draws positive energy to you. If you want to practice this, you can have your time frame. It’s a personal decision

10. Get Involved

Try a new extracurricular activity to learn more about yourself, what you enjoy, and what you’re good at.

You can NEVER get it wrong with volunteering, the feeling of satisfaction is usually awesome. I’m sure you don’t want to deprive yourself of this.

11. Find Support

You can always share your feelings with people you trust such as family and friends. (You could even try asking them to name two or three things they like about you.)

In conclusion, everyone’s journey to self-acceptance is different, but you can learn to be comfortable in your skin. NEVER compare yourself to anyone else

What is the opposite of self-acceptance?

  • self-rejection
  • self-abasement
  • self-contempt
  • self-denigration
  • self-disgust
  • self-hatred
  • self-loathing
  • mortification
  • humiliation

Don’t do any of this opposite to yourself !!!

 

 

 

 

 

How Stoicism Helped Me Overcome the Trauma of Losing My Father

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Stoicism

Stoicism is a philosophy that teaches you how to live a virtuous and meaningful life, regardless of external circumstances. But how can it help you cope with the trauma of losing a loved one? In this article, I will share my personal story of how stoicism helped me overcome the grief of losing my father and find my purpose in life. 24th October 2017 😪 Six years ago, I began to learn the ways of the Stoics as a second-year philosophy student. I was trying to find my path between the calling of the Catholic Priesthood or the rich vocation of Matrimony. I was searching for a solid foundation on which to stand. As they say, “Life doesn’t happen to you; it happens for you.” Back then, I hadn’t fully analyzed the meaning of this saying. Armed only with a rudimentary understanding of Stoic philosophy, I set sail on my journey of self-discovery, where I realized that while you can’t control what happens to you, you can control your reactions to life’s events. This newfound wisdom led me to ponder the teachings of Stoicism, a philosophy that produced prominent figures like the great Emperor and author of “Meditations,” Marcus Aurelius. However, reflecting on everything around the demise of my father, I sadly acknowledge that my knowledge of Stoic philosophy was still shallow. I became so entangled in incoherent thoughts that I lost my way. My response to this excruciating event was overwhelmingly negative. It took a toll on my academic performance, and my life felt out of alignment. I was unprepared to live the philosophy I professed and loved. Thus, I became traumatized. Experiencing trauma is a normal reaction, but it was as if my mind was haunted by the incessant knocking of death. I became desensitized to the illusion of the grim reaper and was no longer afraid of death itself. My sole fear revolved around the well-being of my family, hoping none of them would experience the same fate. The true pain of my death, I realized, lay in the fact that those who loved me would miss me terribly. This insight made me acutely aware of the agony my mother would endure if she were to grieve my loss. My mother began having dreams, which she interpreted as signals of death lurking around us. These dreams heightened the anxiety that resided within me, and each time my phone rang, and her name appeared on the screen, my heart would skip a beat. I hesitated to answer, but I knew it was my mother, the woman who gave me my heart. I needed to check on her. I also dreaded seeing my younger brother’s tears. I silently prayed that his thoughts did not mirror my own. From 2017 to 2020, I felt like I was in a state of perpetual darkness, chased by an unseen shadow. I was scared of being alone, even when surrounded by friends. I couldn’t share my premonitions with my friends; it was a personal battle that I had to confront alone. They couldn’t fully understand me, as they were dealing with their own challenges, and I didn’t want to burden them with my struggles. I gnashed my teeth in silence when they were not around. In the midst of my doubt, I found inspiration in an unreleased song by J. Cole, “Show Me Something.” I refused to let my tears fall and instead sought understanding to clear my mind. I was lost, and I even fell into a mild state of atheism, questioning the role of God in my life. Modern philosophical thinking made me more skeptical of the supremacy of the supernatural over the mundane. My philosophical journey became a quest to find myself. In my final year, the rapper I mentioned earlier became an inspiration. In the depths of my doubt, I found myself praying, asking God for a sign to show me something, anything. I began connecting the dots in the lives of those I considered heroes, individuals who had changed the world. I realized that their life journeys followed a pattern, and I discovered that faith played a significant role. Their faith was not rooted in the known but in an assurance and conviction confirmed by the Unmoved Mover. What ultimately restored me was the same question that guided a great monk who lived an austere life, St. Bernard: “Why am I here?” In philosophy, we were taught to ask more questions than seek answers; questions were the Rosetta stone to life. I found my question, my “Eureka” moment. To combat the taunting presence of the grim reaper, I began asking why great individuals lived to a ripe old age or died fulfilled. The only answer I could find, after questioning and re-questioning, was “Purpose.” While I haven’t fully discovered my own purpose, I am on a relentless quest to ensure I live my life in the spirit of Gandhi: as if I will die tomorrow and learn as if I will live forever. I am growing up, Dad, and I hope you’d be proud of me. 

Resilience and Healing

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I’m the mistake of my father, The naivety of my mother, The exuberance of teen age that yielded fruit; A seed planted in a soil not ready to hold a root. I need healing, I need to dive in resilience   I’m not the mistake of my father, The willingness of my mother, From a matrimonial bed, I am the fruit; A seed that sprouted from good soil to hold its root. I need healing, I need to dive in resilience   I’m the victim of abandonment; at birth, they left, Tales like Cain and Abel, my world melted. Death was a thief; my father died, my father became a wanderer, Two worlds in the same scene; in its shadow, I became a sojourner. I need healing, I need to dive in resilience.   Starting from the constant reprimand of my father’s mistakes, A bond from the connection of ruthlessness breaks. I’m depressed from his demise without goodbye, Watching the glitter of the sparse stars, hoping he comes by. I need healing, I need to dive in resilience   I’m searching for healing, Resilient in my quest to be saved. Hold me closer, my soul in quest of peace. Daddy, Mummy, when will it seize.