failure

Strong Beyond Measure

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Strong Beyond Measure

“Baby, you are strong. You can do anything you want. You can be the best. Only if you believe in yourself.” Those were Mama’s words every morning. I woke up to the sound of them. They seemed to energize me and spur me into action each day. On the wall in my room hung my medals, awarded to me for excelling in each class. My dressing table held my awards; they stood tall, telling tales of my success: Best in this and best in that. The biggest of them boasted to everyone that I had recited Psalm 119 in Sunday school. I faced my opponents the same way, looking them in the face and saying, “I am your fear” as Mama taught me. And they’d all scramble like rams, letting me emerge the winner. I never knew I could do all that, but Mama said I could. But what about me? What was I saying? Deep down lay great fear. I jumped the rod not because I believed I could; I jumped it because I was afraid I couldn’t. I strained myself because I was afraid to fail. I hated to see the disappointment on my mama’s face. I waited to hear my name each time, knowing nothing but excellence would be enough. I could see the heights of expectancy on her face, and they’d wear off by inch if I wasn’t called yet. Then they would rush back in a moment when I was announced as the overall best in my class. I cried each time, not tears of joy, but tears of fear that I could have failed altogether. “Baby, you are strong.” “No, Mum, I’m not!” “You can do anything you want.” “I do them all for you.” “You can be the best!” “I’m so scared I won’t be.” “Only if you believe in yourself.” “I can’t even find myself.” My voice was so lost in hers; my world revolved around her. Maybe because I never saw Dada; he died the day I was born. I was told too much joy killed him; he never believed he could be a father. He had a disability that confined him to a wheelchair just before he married my Mama. I only have a picture for keeps, and I praise Mama for her bravery. I wished I could find my own place too, and make her proud in my own way. I wanted to get to the top not for the money or for the fame but simply because I loved it. I really wanted to believe in myself. I wanted to go beyond my room and be the best in my own way. But what I wanted didn’t matter unless it was what Mama wanted. My choices were pointless, my dreams nightmares unless Mama said otherwise. She had planned out my life already. “At 22, you should be a barrister. The world would applaud you for being so young. People would bow to your wisdom,” she said. It sounded welcoming, and I’d do it for her. **** The goodbyes were slow, so slow that they drained me. College called immediately after high school, and I had to leave. I wouldn’t see Mama until summer break. The car moved slowly too; we waved and waved until we were out of each other’s sight. I wiped my tears and promised I’d make her proud. I lied. I failed. Two weeks went by, and I was in the other queue picking up a transfer form. I did not want to do law anymore. The wig and the gown never attracted me, but equations and formulas did. I called her. “I’m sorry, Mama. I have to disobey you this time. I know you won’t be proud, but please allow me to feel that pride even for once. Allow me to see my reflection in the mirror,” I said. She was not happy. Her voice sounded so low on the phone. She didn’t say “Baby, you are strong” in her usual way. I failed so many times. I had carryovers and stayed on probation. What happened to the usual overall best student? My medals and awards would be damned. They would walk off if they had the chance. Mama said it wasn’t too late to quit, and that I could still go back to my first course, but I wanted Mathematics, and I was ready to fight for it. I would conquer mathematics and physics to the end. I needed to jump this rod with so much faith. I needed to be me. But the end came too soon. It was convocation morning, and nothing had changed; I had been conquered. I sat in the back seat, according to our CGPA. I wasn’t the overall best. I wasn’t the best-graduating student. Tears stood in Mama’s eyes. Even when she smiled at the camera, they were still visible, but I wasn’t moved. For once in my life, I was ready to face the world with courage. I faced my post-college education. This time, I finally understood myself; I saw that failing wasn’t that painful. Failure is just a scratch. Mama’s words finally made sense. I am stronger than the ground. I can conquer fluid mechanics. I can do it because I believe I can. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5—57 times and eureka! I proved the existence and smoothness of the Navier-Stokes equation. I did what other students couldn’t do. I solved a millennium mathematics problem. Now and forever, my name is written in gold in the hall of fame of mathematics. Mama said with pride this time at my convocation, “Never forget, baby, that you are strong.” READ ALSO: How One Girl Faced Her Family’s Dark Legacy

5 Ways to Recognizing Failure as a Path to Attaining Success

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Recognizing Failure as a Path to Attaining Success

Failure is not the end of the road but the beginning of success. Whether in business, parenting, relationships, or career, everybody sometimes experiences failure. Most people who are successful today have experienced failure, sometimes several times, and still succeeded. It is a stepping stone to achieving success. “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.”-  Richard Branson Though failure can be disheartening, we must not give up because it is part of life. We learn from our mistakes and setbacks. Once we know not to dwell on this, our lives will change dramatically, and we will realize that it is a stepping stone to success. We should understand that a person’s destination doesn’t define him; what matters is how long it takes him to reach the goal. Failure provides us with an opportunity to learn and grow. It teaches us to be positive even when things seems tough. When you experience a setback, always believe that you will bounce back. It doesn’t mean the end of the road. Always accept it anytime it keeps knocking, knowing it is a way to your success and moving your life forward to greatness. When you experience failure, it is an opportunity to build emotional resilience. It is a learning experience; instead of seeing it as a painful time, I see it as a step toward success. We will examine a few ways to overcome failure positively. 5 Ways to Work Through Failure In A Positive Way 1. Maintain a Growth Mindset. Focusing on a growth mindset means seeing failure as a stepping stone rather than a roadblock. Failure should always be viewed as an opportunity to learn, adapt to circumstances, and learn from mistakes. Having a growth mindset will prompt us to reevaluate our strategies, identify our weaknesses, and gain insight to help us make better decisions in life. 2. Embrace Failure When we embrace failure, it will propel us to think positively about failure. To do that, we should admit our mistakes, learn from other people’s mistakes, and study how others experience loss in their path to success. We must also celebrate failure as part of the learning and growth process. We must also understand that it is an opportunity to develop strength and determination to overcome challenges we may encounter in the future. 3. Cultivating Resilience Resilience is the greatest lesson failure has on humans. It allows us to see it as a stepping stone, not a roadblock that thwarts our advancements. When we experience setbacks, difficulties, or obstacles, failure helps us develop the strength to bounce back; no matter what we face, this will lead us to make better decisions in life. To conquer it, we must be willing to examine our actions and use the knowledge to move ahead with determination. We must build resilience and accept it as a possibility for personal growth instead of downfall. 4. Learn from Failure We must learn from it as it is a stepping stone to recognizing our hurdles and assists us in understanding the areas in which we need improvement. Knowing that will compel us to gain insight that can shape our future. We should also learn from those who experienced failure on the path to achieving success. It will also encourage us to stand firm amid collapse.  5. Building Character Failure should be seen as an opportunity to shape our character, establish strength, and be persistent, enabling us to succeed. Through failure, we understand who we are and how we react to situations around us. It influences us to contend with our flaws, establishing stability and determination to build our character.  Failure exposes us to life lessons: humility and tolerance, and we need to be determined and face reality in life. Final Thought Without failure, there should be no success. We must not give up. We learn from our mistakes, and when we correct those mistakes, we are getting one step closer to our success. We must keep striving until we achieve success in life. We should not avoid failure or be afraid of it.  We need to embrace it as a segment on the way to success. Changing our view and accepting failure as an opportunity for expansion will help us attain our full potential to work toward personal and career success.  Nevertheless, let us celebrate and embrace failure as a stepping stone to our success.  “Remember, failure is not the end of the road, but the beginning of success.”