The Illusion of Choice

The Illusion of Choice

Man’s fate has been predetermined, and his path has been preordained: to have a vision in unfavorable conditions and to pursue unlimited ends with limited means. He is given the illusion of choice. Like being blindfolded and handed a torch in a dense maze, like a puppet being controlled by a higher hand, like a character in a play acting out an already written script, he is made to ‘choose’. And these choices are not easy choices; they are, in fact, sacrifices. Of a thousand quite similar stories, this is one that indicates the difficulty of man’s choices and how his sacrifices only serve to increase the pain in his heart. In a land far away, there was a boy—a bright young lad. Among his peers, he excelled. In academics, sports, and every other activity, he had no equal. All this was thanks to the iron rod training he received from his father. His father, who had also been bright as a kid, his father, who was given a scholarship to one of the best schools in the country, was a happy-go-lucky chap. Well, at least he was, until he impregnated the boy’s mother, the product of which was the boy himself. Since then, he has developed a morose outlook on life. The father had trained the boy in the harsh ways of life, forcing him to adopt a very strict lifestyle. He once told the boy that living with one’s parents meant living under subsidized conditions. So he had to get his priorities straight and focus on his ambitions. Life is harsher; suffering his constant, he would yell at the boy while flogging him for the tiniest of his mistakes. And surely, the boy became a cold, ambitious young man. Sometimes the father wondered if he didn’t deny the boy the joys of childhood. But he would often brush away this thought. The boy has to make sacrifices for a successful adulthood. He must not end up like me, with a dead-end job and four mouths to feed, he would tell himself. He has to make better choices. The boy was admitted to the university on a fully paid scholarship, of course. It was on the university campus that he met the girl. The girl whose beauty illuminated his gloomy life, whose beautiful smile sent butterflies through his stomach, whose voice made his heart skip. It was at this moment that he tripped and fell in love. The feeling was mutual, and the connection was instantaneous. It was not a matter of choice; they both had no control over it. She was not an engineering student like he was; she was in mass communication. They saw each other more frequently over the next couple of days; anyone would think they were headed towards happiness ever after. But fate had other plans. The boy was not as politically inclined as the girl was. She was more open-minded. She was often in the company of older and politically active male colleagues. The boy went home on a break after the session ended. After the usual scrutiny of the boy’s transcript, the father was surprised to see the boy spending more time with his phone and not on his books or in his automechanic friend’s workshop, where the boy would sometimes go to get his hands busy. The father’s heart dropped when he discovered that the cause of this change in behavior was a woman. The father was dissatisfied, and he let the boy know. He told the boy the story of his own misdemeanor, the story of his own poor choices. The boy was losing sight of his goal. The girl was manipulating him. Why was he talking to her in the first place? Doesn’t he know that when he becomes successful, he will have the luxury of picking his choice of women? After all, women are trophies and symbols of success. Rich men marry beautiful women, while the poor men get whoever’s not taken by the rich men. The words of the father stuck with the boy. When the boy got back to school, he started examining the girl more closely. He started finding fault in everything she did. And soon, cracks started to appear in their relationship. She wasn’t being ambitious enough with her studies; she was flirting with other men, he thought to himself. Things came to a head when the students protested against the military junta  in their country. He distanced himself from it. She called him a weakling and then asked him to choose between her and his career, or the future of the nation and his own selfish interests, as she had put it. Of course, he chose his books. It was a very painful decision to let her go, but he convinced himself that it was for the greater good. He made the choice. The girl was arrested while protesting, and she became a national symbol of rebellion. The Junta was later toppled, and democracy took its place. He went on to establish his own engineering company, which later grew and became a multinational. At some point, he was among the richest men in the world. The girl also did fine. She won a Nobel Peace Prize for her humanitarian and activist efforts, which spread beyond her own country throughout her continent. Decades later, married with his own kids, and watching her spread her wings in her activism career, her voice echoing on his TV, reminding him of his cowardice. His heart felt hollow and empty. No amount of money or career accomplishment could fill the void she left in his heart. As the boy played with his own son that night, the innocence in the kid’s eyes tore his heart apart. This is a story, like many others, a tale too familiar, of how one can’t eat one’s cake and have it, of the choices people make for their ambitions. If only man did not want so much, then maybe he would … Read more

Reinvention

reinvention

Do you ever wonder about who you are? How you ended up where you are now? The world is constantly changing; reinvention is now the norm, and it can be intimidating for many of us. I mean, this is our first time here. How are we supposed to know what is right and what is not? This makes reinvention a highly advantageous choice for us. Embrace change! Change your life as much as you want to! Start all over, and this time do it a different way. And if things don’t go as planned again, don’t hesitate to start afresh once more. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, reinvention is the act of producing something new based on something that already exists or the new thing that is produced. This means starting afresh from wherever you stopped, but making do with the rest of your strength, and building something else with it. Reinventing yourself can seem exciting, but it’s also scary for many. It takes a lot of effort to change how you see yourself and how others see you. But it can also be empowering. Here are some possible reasons why it could be time for you to start reinventing yourself: 1. Existential crisis: An existential crisis is when we struggle with questions about the meaning and purpose of our lives. This uncertainty can hurt our lives if it persists or worsens. At times, what bothers us is feeling lost about our purpose in life. Everything might seem fine, but deep down, we feel like something is missing, like life lacks meaning. If we don’t address this feeling of discontent, it can lead to a big rethink of our lives. 2. Major career change: A lot of individuals desire to switch careers after spending a significant amount of time in the same job. Careers demand a considerable portion of our time and effort. After sticking with one career for an extended period of time, many of us start to crave something new and exciting, but the realization then sets in that it’s time to change some things. 3. Breaking bad habits: Reinventing yourself doesn’t come with a set plan or instructions. Sometimes, starting all over again after breaking some unusual habits that could be detrimental to either health, finances, or other lifestyles is also a way of reinvention. It’s important to view your reinvention as a journey of self-discovery. 4. The feeling of stagnation: This is a feeling everyone is familiar with. It’s like you’re not going anywhere. This lonely feeling might come from a boring relationship, a job that’s not exciting anymore, or just feeling uninspired in general. When this occurs, it brings with it a sense of curiosity about what else is out there to explore and experience, and so the desire for reinvention takes place. If you’re looking to shake things up but don’t know where to start, here are some steps to guide you in reinventing yourself. 1. Ask yourself what you want to change Take a moment to think about what’s missing in your life. Where or who do you want to be, and what good changes can you make? Everyone wants something they don’t have. But going after what’s missing is only worthwhile if you’ve thought deeply about what you want and why. Asking yourself what you want to change can not only guide your decision-making process but also help you make better decisions. 2. Set realistic goals Understanding why you want something helps you know what matters most to you. This helps you make better decisions and focus on what’s important to you. It makes you able to focus on the direction of your growth and fully direct your time and energy towards it. 3. Practice self-reflection Thinking about yourself is a key part of changing who you are. By taking care of yourself with things like writing in a journal and doing deep breathing exercises, you can figure out why you are where you are and what you should do next. 4. Get help when you need it If you need help, don’t hesitate to ask friends, family, or colleagues you trust. They might have advice or understand what you’re going through. Sometimes, it’s a good idea to talk to a professional. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a coach or therapist to help you figure things out. 5. Be with good people The people you spend time with can either make you feel better or make things harder. So make sure the people around you are nice, truthful, and want good things for you. They’ll help you make good choices and keep you feeling steady. 6. Celebrate your success Lastly, don’t forget to celebrate your successes. When you make big changes in your life, it’s important to acknowledge every step forward. Celebrating even small victories will make you feel more confident and good about yourself. Changing yourself helps you become better. This helps you have a healthier, happier life. In other words, you’re never too old to learn, and changing yourself reminds you of that. No matter how old you are or how stuck you feel, changing yourself can help you learn and try new things. READ ALSO: A Monument Of An Unbelievable Sacrifice

Your Journey to Becoming a Writer

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The journey to becoming a writer starts from you and only you. Not just from the moment you had the idea or when you came up with what you want to write, but the moment you actually see yourself as a writer and begin to write. There were certain times in our lives, especially the women-folk, when we would pick up a journal or a diary and then begin to write out our daily experiences or the most exciting thing or depressing thing that happened to us each day. In as much as those diaries or journals had a lot of interesting content, they did not make us writers because we were writing them to ourselves or as a means of remembering past occurrences. Writing is Deliberate When it comes to writing, it is more deliberate. You might be writing from your personal experiences or even how you currently feel. But it starts by you making the choice to start writing. You cannot consider yourself a driver if you know all the theory about driving and can even explain it to others, but without having driven before. All you do is have the knowledge. In the same vein, having some good content doesn’t necessarily make you a writer. Make a Conscious Choice to Be a Writer When starting this journey, you would have to make your choice first, whether or not you have the content. One of the major things making that choice does for you is that it changes your perspective about yourself. It helps you to see that you have become a writer, and that you have something inside of you for the world. That way, you would become more deliberate about giving answers in your writing. Another thing this choice helps you to do is to help you stay focused on your path as a writer. There are times that writing would be so difficult that writing a sentence or phrasing a sentence properly can take time. But with the choice you’ve made, you are able to hang on until you come out with the right content. The choice helps you to stay on track, rather than give up. Start Writing After making the choice, then you can actually start writing. There is no one way to write a book. You can start from the topic or even the end, or you can write the book and give it a befitting topic. The choice is yours. The only thing you need to do is to actually write the book. Once you start, you might be faced with the challenge of what to write. Once that challenge comes, ask yourself what you want to achieve with your writing. Do you just want to be one of those writers, or do you want your writing to help people? That depends on you. Here is a list of writing prompts. Interestingly enough, you can even write from some of the journals that you kept while you were a teenager. You will be surprised at the level of wisdom that came out of you in handling situations or the level of drama in your life at that age. WRITING TIP One thing that can help you in writing is to have a summary of the things you want to write. Then you can build around it and make it more compact. And at other times, just start writing until you reach a point where possibilities come into what you are writing. At that point, you would have to make the choice of what you want your book to look like. Conclusion Let me end with this. When starting your writing journey, the first thing to do is to make up your mind that you are a writer and let that sink in. From there, what steps you take is up to you. Sometimes your writing journey goes with your personality. Such that if you are an organized person, you might want to have a step-by-step or chapter-by-chapter analysis of what you want your book to look like. If you are used to doing things without rigid planning, then you might also want to write that way. Whatever the case may be, or whatever your personality may be, make the choice and get to work. And always remember that people are counting on you, your book, your experiences or even your current life to get their answers. Be sure to give them the best content. Olamide Omolawal is an avid research enthusiast with interest in creative and content writings