Dertha started saying Mama often. She would point at Chinaza’s picture on the wall, beside the big family portrait and say, “Mama! See Mama!”At first, Nonso would smile and nod agreeably with her, “Yes, it is Mama.”
He would then swing her into a hug and they would scan Chinaza’s framed photo, the only one in the living room. At night, Dertha would clap and squeal when Chinaza’s face appeared in the video call. It was their magical moment, a sacred tradition that they had kept every night for the past two months since Chinaza left for her program in Belfast. Nonso would allow the children to gush over her first before he would ask, “Kedu, how are you coping over there?”
Her countenance fell each time and then brightened up almost immediately remembering their children were still on the call.
“I’m fine,” She would respond and then her voice would trail off recounting how her day went and what she did differently in class, how she helped the old woman at Target; how she skipped going to the gym and would not renew her subscription just to save cost. How she ate only boiled eggs for breakfast and Oats for dinner. How the new job as an assistant at the elderly home was treating her.
“I can’t wait for you all to come over,” she would say finally.
“Soon, we will be with you again.”
Those became their parting words each night, it gave them hope that they would be a complete family again. But that hope began to give in to despair and finally to frustration. The UK Embassy kept denying Nonso’s Visa. He had declared everything he had, why he was travelling and what he was going to do there but they kept rejecting his application each time.
Then Chinaza’s crying spells began, she would have tears in her eyes as she spoke to the kids and watched them do their homework and when she was alone with Nonso, she would let the tears out, sobbing hysterically. She had wanted to leave Nigeria by all means and even though she already had a master’s degree, opted to apply for another just to facilitate leaving.
Nonso was not as eager as she was but with each family that left the country, each Facebook post that showed people abroad and each discomfort from government policies which were making lives difficult in Nigeria, Chinaza would complain and talk about how life would be easier if they just relocated.
Her application got approved and she was elated to leave first and then bring Nonso and the kids over as her dependants. It felt easy as they said it, as they planned for her relocation and as they said their goodbyes. Now, those cherished moments of togetherness were all they had.
Chinaza cried as she remembered how Nonso wanted them to save up more and take things easy and how she had been the one on his neck. Why wouldn’t they let her family come over to the United Kingdom to be with her? She looked at his weak eyes and said nothing further till they ended the call
Nonso watched Dertha’s enthusiasm begin to wane as she pointed at Chinaza’s picture, her “see Mama!” words lacked the lustre they once had and he no longer nodded or agreed with her. Her Mama was gone for a year now and all plans to be together had proven abortive.
Mama was not there to see Dertha graduate from pre-school, she wasn’t there to see Caleb collect the overall best students award for the second time; to see him move to third grade where they hoped he would clinch the award again for the third time in a row.
Mama wasn’t there to try Nonso’s many recipes, he had grown to become a renowned chef at home since her departure. He had learnt to cook and try things out to ensure the kids fed well. Mama wasn’t there to attend his company’s anniversary dinner with him and he had sat alone with friends who came with their spouses.
That night he had returned home and called Chinaza immediately but when she didn’t pick up after the third ring, he flung his phone across the room and removed the necktie he had on angrily. They had agreed to talk by 8:00 pm every day which was 7:00 pm over there. Why was she not there?
He angrily sent a text and asked what she was doing behind his back. His frustration only calmed down when he took a cold shower and checked on the children with his Mother to be sure they were fine.
He slept off in the living room.
He woke up to Chinaza’s text asking what was happening with him and why he sent such an accusing message to her. He wanted to apologize when he got a call from his mum to come over quickly. Dertha was running a temperature and had been throwing up. He spent the entire day at the children’s clinic and for one, he was grateful for his company’s HMO.
Caleb opted to stay with his dad and sister so he and Nonso sat at the children’s playing ground, had lunch at the cafeteria and played Whot cards in Dertha’s ward. They waited till Dertha was certified okay and free to go.
Nonso heaved a sigh of relief as they got home. He was getting good at this “daddy” thing, he just pulled through a sick bout and did not lose his mind to worry. Dertha was fine. He cooked their meals and waited patiently for 8:00 pm again so they could talk to Chinaza. Caleb fell ill the next day. Whatever Dertha had must have been transferred to him. Nonso was lost again as he took the trip back to the children’s hospital and had to miss church service. That night, he broke down as he talked to Chinaza.
“I don’t know what is happening, maybe I’m doing something wrong. I don’t want to lose my kids,” he wept.
Chinaza’s eyes were sore from weeping as she spoke, “I’m so sorry, you’re not doing anything wrong and they will be fine.”
Dertha was asleep already, the drugs she had to take made her drowsy and Caleb was too weak to speak.
“I’m so sorry you have to do this alone,” Chinaza said and looked away from the camera to wipe her tears. One of them had to be strong.
Her pre-graduation party was the next day but she couldn’t tell him, he just might not be happy about the graduation when their kids are ill. She went on to say it nevertheless and she saw his face contour from sadness to anger.
“Who cares about your graduation, we are talking about the health of our kids here and all you care about is your graduation!” Nonso blurted out angrily.
Chinaza was taken aback at his outburst and when they ended their call, she felt the weight of his anger on her heart throughout the night. He didn’t mean any of the things he said she kept telling herself, he was just so sad. Nonso looked at the sick frame of his children on the hospital bed for the second time in a month and he knew then that Chinaza had been lying all along, he was obviously doing something wrong. If not, why are they falling sick?
As the paediatrician recommended drug after drug coupled with injections, he felt the pang in his heart each time he heard Caleb wail from pain or Dertha throw up everything she had taken down. It was driving him crazy. His office hours were filled with worry and he wondered if they would make it till the end of Easter; if he could manage to be alone without his wife, if he wouldn’t get a query from his numerous leave requests.
His mother had suggested that Chinaza should return home but Chinaza had refused saying they were so close to making it and getting the visa after all. When it got denied again, Nonso blew his top as they spoke that night.
“This isn’t working and I don’t know how long I have to cope with this. I’m worried sick every day, my kids are in and out of the hospital, my work is suffering and yet there is no hope of ever coming to be with you.”
“You just have to have faith, babe, we can pull through this,” Chinaza consoled him.
“I have faith but it’s almost two years and since you’re done with your program, I think you should listen to my mum and come home.”
She didn’t let him finish before she yelled, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m working on my residency and I need you and the kids to come and join me not me coming back. Babe, we’ve agreed on this -“
It degenerated into another quarrel and they ended the call. She heaved a tired sigh, they’d been quarrelling each time and it was beginning to tell on her. She decided not to talk to him again until they’d had time to think well, two days would do it. Nonso broke the curfew with a frantic call, Dertha had been rushed from school to the hospital.
He was on his way there from the office and he added sadly that he just wanted to inform her not that she would be able to do anything. In that instant, Chinaza felt the sting of his anger towards her and the weight of the wellbeing of their family. She cried as she made up her mind on her next line of action.
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